SOLILOQUIES ~ Beyond Few Words

There is a darkness that surrounds me. A deceptive darkness. My dark side. This darkness consumes all like the black hole. How could I've let you in, the Light When I could not get out of my own dark side.

I held that cup tight and cautiously, as if it's not the cup But our relation that I was holding on to. You were engrossed in sorting the clothes. 'Hey, coffee for you.' You smiled, I smiled. 'It's good,' you said. 'I think I know your tastes better now.' I pronounced with some self adulation. You look at me with amazement and obliviousness at the same time. I knew in that very moment that our love is still incomplete. I still cannot say you're the one because in you I see   a split   The you that I know and the you that I don't know.

He looks at me with a smile and I smile back. He kisses my head and says you've the most beautiful smile. I smile a little wider and then curb it guiltily. I've heard this before, I've believed this before. He wants me to be happy and I'm happy with him. But you know that... There is no eye that sees me the way you did Neither a heart that feels my heart like you did. May be I'm no more the me in love. I've transformed with time but that feeling hasn't.