SOLILOQUIES ~ Beyond Few Words

I thought  I'd write you a mail Send you a message Say something Do something Struggled  Whole day. I can't. I remember you Every single day I shouldn't. This battle inside All my life My life Never mine...

There are times when you grow in life and the other times when life grows upon you

You know how lost I feel on days, how meaningless it all seems. All this journey leads me nowhere, I feel. This success, this status, is all for the world, not me. Because I only desire you, my only true desire. Desperate I'm on days, empty I feel inside but even if I don't ever get to you, I can't stop being me. The me that made me worthy of you. My desperation tends to lead me astray but I stay, deep rooted. Remembering everything this life means, and everything you mean to me.

I'm restless today very restless. This deliberate distance that I did put between your world and mine should have fixed things, but no, it's not helping. Not a day goes by without thinking about you. And all of this is just inside me, I don't talk about you anymore. I pretend that I don't care, only if I cannot. But if that happens what will I become? I'm alone and I'm praying.. Oh but why this, why am I blabbering, I told you I'm alone. I'm alone since the day I stopped fighting for you, I'm alone since the day I left you. I hope you find love.