SOLILOQUIES ~ Beyond Few Words

There is no poetry in it, no prose either This is the most clear note that I've ever written here But this is also the most cryptic one you'd ever read from me. We're not in this for us but for the others, You and I, we've our lives but we live for others And let's not make the others realize this This is our secret gift to them.

I talk. I talk to the sea or the mountains or a pillar or a tree but not you  Because I've this fear of being right or wrong, fear of being judged, being labeled.  I'd say and I'd regret, or may be I fear of being misunderstood.  No, may be not being understood at all.  May be I told you everything and you loved me for being me,  But then you never wanted me to be me.  I need to stay silent but I crave to speak.  No I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to myself.  This is getting oblique, I've to stop. Forget it, it's nothing.

She: "What are you thinking?" He: "Nothing." She: "Nothing???" He: ........ (Nothing. I wish I could say, "stressing, searching for meaning, seeking peace, battling my inner demons, praying for a better world, wishing I live my dreams, hoping that my heart heals. But 'Nothing' is all I could say")

I want you to remember me And I don't care even if This world and my own forget.

I've endured a suffering for so long just by holding those memories tight close to me. And I still don't want to let go of those memories, I'll let them warm me from inside and tear me apart at the same time.

Life... was too short to live with you and is too long to live without you .

I rocked a baby to sleep in the cradle of my arms And in those moments... I found the worth of this life and A beautiful peace.