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The I'mperfect Sustenance

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There is no poetry in it, no prose either
This is the most clear note that I've ever written here
But this is also the most cryptic one you'd ever read from me.
We're not in this for us but for the others,
You and I, we've our lives but we live for others
And let's not make the others realize this
This is our secret gift to them.

The Lost Conversation ~ 2

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I talk. I talk to the sea or the mountains or a pillar or a tree but not you 
Because I've this fear of being right or wrong, fear of being judged, being labeled. 
I'd say and I'd regret, or may be I fear of being misunderstood. 
No, may be not being understood at all. 
May be I told you everything and you loved me for being me, 
But then you never wanted me to be me. 
I need to stay silent but I crave to speak. 
No I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to myself. 
This is getting oblique, I've to stop. Forget it, it's nothing.

The Lost Conversation

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She: "What are you thinking?"
He: "Nothing."
She: "Nothing???"
He: ........ (Nothing. I wish I could say, "stressing, searching for meaning, seeking peace, battling my inner demons, praying for a better world, wishing I live my dreams, hoping that my heart heals. But 'Nothing' is all I could say")

What Matters

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I want you to remember me
And I don't care even if
This world and my own forget.

The House Of Memories

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I've endured a suffering for so long just by holding those memories tight close to me.
And I still don't want to let go of those memories,
I'll let them warm me from inside and tear me apart at the same time.

The Mystery Of Life

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Life...
was too short to live with you
and
is too long to live without you.

A Beautiful Peace

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I rocked a baby to sleep in the cradle of my arms
And in those moments...
I found the worth of this life
and
A beautiful peace.

Not My Own World

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The wrecks of my heart are mine and mine alone. Don't try to mend them, it's through those ruins That this life has sustained...

The Broken Hearted

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Love brought me closer to life, then life took me away from love.

The Buried Pain

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I saw him smoking a puff in.
He was standing alone at a corner in the party.
And then a cloud of smoke flew out of his mouth.
Circles dissipated in air.
I walked up to him and said, 'I didn't know you smoked.'
He was somewhat taken aback by the breach in his solitary.
He extinguished the fag under his foot.
'Killing time,' he said.
'Or killing self,' I asked.
He strode without answering, hands in pocket and a dropped head.
I've witnessed him brooding in loneliness.
But with people around, he is all smiles.

When love is less, pain is more.

The Dark Side of Me

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There is a darkness that surrounds me. A deceptive darkness. My dark side. This darkness consumes all like the black hole. How could I've let you in, the Light When I could not get out of my own dark side.

The Cusp Of Love

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I held that cup tight and cautiously, as if it's not the cup
But our relation that I was holding on to.
You were engrossed in sorting the clothes.
'Hey, coffee for you.'
You smiled, I smiled.
'It's good,' you said.
'I think I know your tastes better now.' I pronounced with some self adulation.

You look at me with amazement and obliviousness at the same time.
I knew in that very moment that our love is still incomplete.
I still cannot say you're the one because in you I seea split
The you that I know and the you that I don't know.

The Silent Transformation

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He looks at me with a smile and I smile back. He kisses my head and says you've the most beautiful smile. I smile a little wider and then curb it guiltily. I've heard this before, I've believed this before. He wants me to be happy and I'm happy with him.
But you know that... There is no eye that sees me the way you did Neither a heart that feels my heart like you did. May be I'm no more the me in love. I've transformed with time but that feeling hasn't.

The 1484 days since...

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My heart raced a million miles in those few seconds
It's been years since that unceremonious goodbye
And there you were looking as beautiful as ever.
The dinner. The goodbye.
I stayed there for a moment, I let the grief shroud my soul,
I let the cloud burst occur in my eyes.
Shattered I returned to that place which took you away from me
Only to realize that I've been robbed of my memories
The one I needed to console my heart
Just sneaked into my diaries and
Tore all my musings, my conversations with you.
I was not entitled to love and now
I'm not entitled to express my pain either.
I rest in dark sadness tonight and
Hope that the dreamer meets his dream.

The Antidote To Happiness

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She was silently staring at the horizon, in a trance, wistfully thinking.
I placed the coffee in front of her and asked, 'what are you thinking?'
She stared at me and I noticed her vacant eyes.
'Nothing', she said.

'Sometimes it's not the life that we live
But the life that we can't which
Is the reason of our heart's despair.'

The Victims Of Love - 4

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You don't understand love. You experience it. It's the experience that's eternal
Not love, sometimes...

The fable of the land and the sea

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"You and I, the land and the sea."
"Land and sea, I don't understand"
"There are days when the sea is calm.
I'm content with just having you, there. 
I know you're in your own world still I'm calm."
"And."
"And, there are days when the sea is restless. 
I want you to reach my depths, explore me,
I desire you, I want you."
"Can't we just merge, become one."
"We can't, for you're the land and I'm the sea, 
and our coming together will mean destruction for our world."
"Why then, am I the land, and you're the sea? 
Why can't we both be sea, intermingling where the land ends, 
exploring each other's mystery? 
Why can't we be?"
"....."

(my answer might not be your's. you find your own answers of this one)

The Spell Of December

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There was something very defining about you
You've painted your dreams with your chosen colors
You've that simple craziness that makes you unique
You've that innocuous mischievousness
You're like a snow covered mountain, glowing white
I reveled in your beauty, I know you, you are me.
Not the me existing here and now
Faded like the melting snow
Lapsed in time...

I'm waiting for the December snow again
But this time it isn't snowing
They say that the world has changed
And it's never gonna snow here again.

The Coffee Conversations

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In between those hot sips of the dark brown liquid
And the fumes carrying the smell of the diffused beans
We've talked nonchalantly about today and tomorrow
We've talked about work and world, and silence followed.
There are still a few conversations that are left incomplete
I'm speaking loud in my heart, are you even listening...

That Forgotten Diary

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While cleaning my closet, I caught hold of the box of memories. The box of memories that enclosed the forgotten diary. My hands trembled conveying not to unlid it, Don't pick it, don't open it, then my heart sighed. That forgotten diary - The torn pages reminded me of everything I wrecked, The blank ones reminded me of everything incomplete, And there were still these one left, nether torn nor blank Marred with tears, marred yet not destroyed like my soul. Then I closed the diary, like I closed my heart And consigned it to oblivion once again.