SOLILOQUIES ~ Beyond Few Words

You don't understand love. You experience it. It's the experience that's eternal Not love, sometimes...

"You and I, the land and the sea." "Land and sea, I don't understand" "There are days when the sea is calm. I'm content with just having you, there.  I know you're in your own world still I'm calm." "And." "And, there are days when the sea is restless.  I want you to reach my depths, explore me, I desire you, I want you." "Can't we just merge, become one." "We can't, for you're the land and I'm the sea,  and our coming together will mean destruction for our world." "Why then, am I the land, and you're the sea?  Why can't we both be sea, intermingling where the land ends,  exploring each other's mystery?  Why can't we be?" "....." (my answer might not be your's. you find your own answers of this one)

There was something very defining about you You've painted your dreams with your chosen colors You've that simple craziness that makes you unique You've that innocuous mischievousness You're like a snow covered mountain, glowing white I reveled in your beauty, I know you, you are me. Not the me existing here and now Faded like the melting snow Lapsed in time... I'm waiting for the December snow again But this time it isn't snowing They say that the world has changed And it's never gonna snow here again.

In between those hot sips of the dark brown liquid And the fumes carrying the smell of the diffused beans We've talked nonchalantly about today and tomorrow We've talked about work and world, and silence followed. There are still a few conversations that are left incomplete I'm speaking loud in my heart, are you even listening...

While cleaning my closet, I caught hold of the box of memories. The box of memories that enclosed the forgotten diary. My hands trembled conveying not to unlid it, Don't pick it, don't open it, then my heart sighed. That forgotten diary - The torn pages reminded me of everything I wrecked, The blank ones reminded me of everything incomplete, And there were still these one left, nether torn nor blank Marred with tears, marred yet not destroyed like my soul. Then I closed the diary, like I closed my heart And consigned it to oblivion once again.

I've this uncanny nature Of picking up the battles That I know I can't win. Battered, bruised Refusing to concede I fight these lonely battles Battles that just don't recede. Why is all I ask O God Why this heart has to feel everything

So the world has come to this From the victory of hope To the victory of despair This is when it all ends Our world You and I. And it's all because of me Me. Because I didn't fight. I surrendered.

A silent yet icy breeze gushed from somewhere causing me to cuddle up and cover my exposed skull with a tam hat. The sound of the chirping birds which caressed my ears ebbed, time drifted unnoticed as the colour of the sky remained constant grey with clouds shrouding the winter sun. My thoughts wavered from youth to mid-life. That embrace of love and innocence, that vow of together forever, that liberty of dreaming your dream, that curiosity to explore life – entirely traded with the conventional and established.  A fine book lost its’ crux in translation. A magnificent story undone by the curse of poor rendition. 

How and when life turned into a beautiful suicide

if you could define your pain measure your loss trust me you've not lost something that you cannot get over

I express my heart through a mask Fearing that you might love my reality A reality... that does not exist

I'm because you are...

I'd wonder some times about reversing the time Doing it all over again Doing it differently And I still end up at the same place. You know what I mean When all the paths lead to the same destination This is destiny - your and mine.

If I could, I would. One day. Tell a story. Of Love. Of a desolate heart.

No one could have destroyed me so profoundly that I did And I am still not done

Brick by brick Piece by piece You're demolishing me It remains to be seen in time What will be my faith A beautiful ruin or a ruined beauty

In the midst of the most beautiful mountains There is my grave and That's the only place where I'm alive

That song It lives with me It wrenches my heart Time and again It rekindles The betrayal, the guilt The love, the heartbreak The pain... You are there in that song even today...

To feel my pain you've to be my heart And then we can cry together

The glaring fault of the absolute truth is that it cannot be altered And sometimes... the truth is very ugly.

I knew that His existence is true  When I had in my life someone as beautiful as you

Don't ever let anyone set a price on your life You'll be rather rich when your life is priceless Set a price and you're up for trade...

Not the ice that you poured over my body that took off my color It's the silence that you directed towards my heart that shuddered my soul.

This time when happiness knocked Incessant drops started filling my eyes. I made a wish and my wish is realized. I soaked in the pure joy of this moment I looked up at the heavens and together we cried. I've lived a life, I'm reborn and it's time to start another life.

  Let not the pain of my wounded body and tormented soul be seen by the ones I love For I cannot stand the agony of feeling my pain in their eyes...

There are times when the burden and pain of being loved too much drowns me. Burden and pain of being loved - do you understand...

You are doing it all wrong Totally, absolutely You love the winds and live with me In me you see the emptiness of space And you don't know it yet but the nature abhors a vacuum...

This world will expect you to be a good child, a good sibling, a good parent, a good student, a good spouse, a good citizen, a good friend.... a good every one. And you'll tell this world that it is too good to be. You live for this world and eventually, you'll be a good every one. But in your heart you'll miss that someone that you ever wanted to be. So I'm telling this straight to you - either you live for everyone or you live for yourself. And whatever you choose, live totally and completely.

May be you won't get it the first time May be the first time was the test of your will But if you won't give up and You muster the courage to follow your dream You'll have it  For the time plays the illusionist role.

  Love you truly. I first fell in love with your imperfections Then fell in love with your perfections. Loved the good in you and loved the bad Fell in love all over again. And it never came as easy as it went.

  We all have to stop falling in love with memories...