SOLILOQUIES ~ Beyond Few Words

I thought  I'd write you a mail Send you a message Say something Do something Struggled  Whole day. I can't. I remember you Every single day I shouldn't. This battle inside All my life My life Never mine...

There are times when you grow in life and the other times when life grows upon you

You know how lost I feel on days, how meaningless it all seems. All this journey leads me nowhere, I feel. This success, this status, is all for the world, not me. Because I only desire you, my only true desire. Desperate I'm on days, empty I feel inside but even if I don't ever get to you, I can't stop being me. The me that made me worthy of you. My desperation tends to lead me astray but I stay, deep rooted. Remembering everything this life means, and everything you mean to me.

I'm restless today very restless. This deliberate distance that I did put between your world and mine should have fixed things, but no, it's not helping. Not a day goes by without thinking about you. And all of this is just inside me, I don't talk about you anymore. I pretend that I don't care, only if I cannot. But if that happens what will I become? I'm alone and I'm praying.. Oh but why this, why am I blabbering, I told you I'm alone. I'm alone since the day I stopped fighting for you, I'm alone since the day I left you. I hope you find love.

I've sacrificed and lost All for you And you ask for more, more and more Yet you don't see All that I did For finding your happiness But I lost    And I can't quit Caught in this loop Fall and rise Hurt and heal All by myself, all alone...

I read Your diary That Spoke of you Through words Filled with glee Filled with pain And then There were these pages Blank pages That troubled me the most

If I could tell you, I'd tell you To leave the past behind For nobody understands. If I could tell you, I'd tell you To bury the truth under the ground As it finds no acceptance. If I could tell you, I'd tell you That life is no fairy tale And love is.... If I could...

As the sun was setting slowly upon us, I could not help but feel for the things, all the things that were going wrong around the world. I could not do enough. The darkness is looming now but there will be a sunrise. A new day, a better world tomorrow. And those who are not consumed by the darkness tonight will get to see the good time that tomorrow promises. That's hope.

I live my life in music. Music is like a dream. Like that love and that life, which is now a dream In this dream, called life

That day when he left, he left the only person who ever knew him behind. He decided that the pains of the voyage are his and his alone. But just as he began, his ship wrecked and he drifted on an island. A very beautiful island. He settled in for a life till he can build his ship again and waited for years before he could continue his sail. And one day he started his voyage again to reach the destination, it took him long and a lot was lost but his spirit. He reached his destination only to meet her again, she was there way before him but now he was but a stranger to her. Someone whom she knew ones but no more. I'd like to believe his sacrifices were worthy. I'd like to believe that he won his battles. I'd like to believe that he was at peace. I'd like to believe that somewhere in her heart he was alive. I'd like to believe that he existed not just in stories but in reality...

Love is the most beautiful thing in this world. And I find it everywhere in a fragrance that never fades, the fragrance of you in me...

I knew loneliness  But now I also know How you felt When I left you alone...

It was a silly jape thrown his way that made him real upset, and I apologized again. Why should I, I thought, that's the real me, aye. I settled in the room with my head in my hands, a choking throat and misty eyes, as a stark realization hit me. Why... I didn't love him, I never did, it's not his fault it's just me and so I've to do everything I could to make up, to be his angel. Putting back that smile shrouding my guilt, I wiped those tears aside.

@Reuters I know nothing about their pain but still I feel it in my world.  Why do I've to?  Not to thank God, that it's not me out there NO But to PRAY to, give me the courage to help those out there....

It was not in my words but in the way you read that made everything so poetic. It was not in me but the way you held that made the love so real.

I'd look at the mirror and ask myself Who am I... Am I a craven or am I brave Am I selfish or am I selfless Am I sinful or am I good Am I realist or am I a dreamer Am I even me or just your notion of me Oh I know who I am I'm everything that you want me to be But please it's too long now Please let me be . . ME

Those tears are not in my eyes, no more They swell in the sealed walls of my heart Till I'd find the moment to shed them all Not in pain but in bliss In bliss for the love that I behold...

one day I'd dissolve and disappear in your smiles or tears may be that's when I'll feel life is complete