SOLILOQUIES ~ Beyond Few Words

My heart raced a million miles in those few seconds It's been years since that unceremonious goodbye And there you were looking as beautiful as ever. The dinner. The goodbye. I stayed there for a moment, I let the grief shroud my soul, I let the cloud burst occur in my eyes. Shattered I returned to that place which took you away from me Only to realize that I've been robbed of my memories The one I needed to console my heart Just sneaked into my diaries and Tore all my musings, my conversations with you. I was not entitled to love and now I'm not entitled to express my pain either. I rest in dark sadness tonight and Hope that the dreamer meets his dream.

She was silently staring at the horizon, in a trance, wistfully thinking. I placed the coffee in front of her and asked, 'what are you thinking?' She stared at me and I noticed her vacant eyes. 'Nothing', she said. 'Sometimes it's not the life that we live But the life that we can't which Is the reason of our heart's despair.'

You don't understand love. You experience it. It's the experience that's eternal Not love, sometimes...

"You and I, the land and the sea." "Land and sea, I don't understand" "There are days when the sea is calm. I'm content with just having you, there.  I know you're in your own world still I'm calm." "And." "And, there are days when the sea is restless.  I want you to reach my depths, explore me, I desire you, I want you." "Can't we just merge, become one." "We can't, for you're the land and I'm the sea,  and our coming together will mean destruction for our world." "Why then, am I the land, and you're the sea?  Why can't we both be sea, intermingling where the land ends,  exploring each other's mystery?  Why can't we be?" "....." (my answer might not be your's. you find your own answers of this one)

There was something very defining about you You've painted your dreams with your chosen colors You've that simple craziness that makes you unique You've that innocuous mischievousness You're like a snow covered mountain, glowing white I reveled in your beauty, I know you, you are me. Not the me existing here and now Faded like the melting snow Lapsed in time... I'm waiting for the December snow again But this time it isn't snowing They say that the world has changed And it's never gonna snow here again.

In between those hot sips of the dark brown liquid And the fumes carrying the smell of the diffused beans We've talked nonchalantly about today and tomorrow We've talked about work and world, and silence followed. There are still a few conversations that are left incomplete I'm speaking loud in my heart, are you even listening...

While cleaning my closet, I caught hold of the box of memories. The box of memories that enclosed the forgotten diary. My hands trembled conveying not to unlid it, Don't pick it, don't open it, then my heart sighed. That forgotten diary - The torn pages reminded me of everything I wrecked, The blank ones reminded me of everything incomplete, And there were still these one left, nether torn nor blank Marred with tears, marred yet not destroyed like my soul. Then I closed the diary, like I closed my heart And consigned it to oblivion once again.